We live in a world that is totally different from the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s. That was a time when parents would use the cane to discipline their kids and the kids turned out pretty alright. I mean look at our African parents, older siblings, and just anyone born during that era. Discipline is basically encrypted in their beings and somehow that to me is more than awesome.
The cane has both negative and positive effects but more often than not caining isn’t always a good solution in instilling discipline in children. Especially the children of today. The children of today are not like the children of the 80s and 90s. They are a little more fragile and they understand best without the cane. That is why it is very important for you as a parent to find a way of inserting discipline in your African Kid apart from the use of the cane. Here are a few methods you can use that are as effective as the cane;
The best way to teach your child what is wrong or right is by allowing them to learn from the consequences of their actions. If they refuse to put on a sweater allow them to go outside and feel why it was important for them to obey you. With that, they will know that mummy or daddy was right and should have listened.
However please always ensure that all this is done in a controlled environment and your child isn’t in danger. Also do ensure you use natural consequences when you think your child will learn from their own mistake.
Nowadays, children are pretty smart, not to mean that our parents or we weren’t. It is just that the kids of nowadays can give you a proper explanation on why they did what they did. Thus making it very wise to use logical consequences with them. For instance, if your child refuses to pick up after themselves, especially in matters of toys. Don’t allow them to play with them for the rest of the day and explain why. This will link misbehavior to real consequences that they feel.
Linking the consequence directly to the behavior problem helps kids see that their choices have direct consequences.
Rewards for Good Behaviour
As an adult i enjoy being rewarded for good behaviour at work, i can just imagine what it does to a child. Providing an incentive to behave can turn around misbehaviour fast. By giving out rewards to your child will help him/her to focus on what they need to do to get privileges etc. instead of bad behaviour they are supposed to avoid.
Listen to the child
Children can be rebellious and misbehave if they feel like they are not being heard. Listening is very important as you can get to understand their struggles and why they are behaving that way.
Always allow your child to finish the story before helping solve the problem.
Give your child attention
One of the most effective tools for instilling discipline in a child is attention. This is because providing enough attention can reinforce good behaviors and discourage others. Remember, all children want their parent’s attention. Just like the way you always want your parent’s and partner’s attention.
Know when not to respond.
Not everything your child does deserve your reaction. As long as it is not something dangerous ignore the bad behavior. That is if you constantly provide a lot of attention for good behavior. This will be an effective way of stopping bad behavior.
For instance, if your child keeps on breaking his/her toys and you ignore it will not be long before they realize that they will be no toys left if they keep up the behavior.
And do note this can yield the opposite results if you only react to your child when they misbehave. The effect will cause them to think that misbehavior equals parent’s attention.
These are some of the most effective ways to enhance your African child’s discipline. I know for most African parents this might be hard to adopt. But with changing, times and circumstances change is inventible. According to research, the cane is responsible for increasing aggression and anger in children instead of teaching responsibility and self-control. Thus it is important to learn new ways of making your child disciplined without destroying their mental state.